Do This Well and Enjoy a Red-Hot Marriage

Mar 20, 2024

Are you currently married, or if single, desire to be married someday? If so, the content in this week’s Wisdom Wednesday email can be a game changer for you as it has been for us in our marriage.

Did you know that in a significant study of couples who were placed in a studio apartment with cameras, microphones, and body monitors to measure things like heart rate, blood pressure, etc., and told to work out a disagreement, that after just 15 minutes observers could predict with 94% accuracy if the couple’s marriage would go the distance or not based on this one thing. 

What’s the one thing, you ask? The answer…How the couple handled conflict. 

That’s right, how they handled disagreements.

 I will never forget the first disagreement Nicole and I had after we were married. It occurred on the first day back from our honeymoon, when we went grocery shopping and argued over which brand of toothpaste we’d buy.

I wanted the brand I had grown up on, Aquafresh, and Nicole wanted the brand she had grown up with, which was Crest.

No sooner had we resolved that disagreement by getting Crest, the very next aisle over we had another disagreement about which cereal to buy.

She was adamant about Cheerios, and I was dead set on any one of three - Corn Pops, Sugar Smacks, or Captain Crunch. I know, it’s embarrassing now to actually think back to it but this was our reality just a few days into our marriage in 1992. It’s hard to believe that was nearly 32 years ago now. 

Over the years, there have been other conflicts. It’s important to understand however, that the goal of marriage is not a conflict-free marriage, but rather one where two people work together through differences in a positive, healthy, Godly manner.

Earlier this month Nicole and I provided a free one-hour marriage web class on this topic with very tactical and practical communication skills that have really helped us and many others.

Things shared included:

  • The causes of fights, quarrels and conflict
  • A woman’s primary needs
  • A man’s primary needs
  • 5 ways to respond to conflict
  • Establishing ground rules (Do’s and Don'ts) for conflict
  • A game changing exercise for couples to resolve conflict in a healthy manner; facilitating understanding and connection and turning our marriage into the red-hot experience God designed.

You can access a video recording of that marriage class here.

Why does this topic of conflict resolution matter so much and what does it have to do with having a red hot marriage?

Simple. When there is unresolved conflict and one (or both) parties do not feel heard, understood and cared for, it will not facilitate the smoking red hot marriage we all desire.

Taking time to slow down and go through the process we taught in this webclass above will serve your marriage well now and well into the future.

If you’d like to be notified of future marriage web classes we will provide (for free), simply text “marriage” to 678.736.8071, and be sure to complete the required form texted back to you or the system cannot add you to the list.

Until next week, thank you for reading. Let’s invest into those that matter most and live relationship rich. That is successful living!  

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Was this helpful? Have a suggestion for future content? I’d love to hear from you. Will you please consider reaching out by way of email, or even better, one of my favorite messaging platforms… Facebook Messenger or Instagram Messenger, letting me know how this may have impacted you and sharing any suggestions you may have for future topics that you’d like me to share on?
With Much Appreciation, Allan